My cat is in the kitchen. It is 1994. It is a Saturday. I am in the kitchen. I walk up to my cat. My cat is eating half a tin of Whiskers (chicken flavour) from a beige plastic bowl. Next to the beige plastic bowl is a white plastic bowl containing a small amount of day-old tap water. A speck of cat food and a hair from my cat and some dust particles are floating in the tap water. I kneel down and stroke my cat’s back. My cat continues to eat as I stroke its back. I stand up and walk into the living room and watch TV. My cat stops eating and moves its head across to the white plastic bowl. It laps up some of the tap water. It accidentally laps up the speck of cat food, the hair and the dust particles. It moves its head back across to the beige plastic bowl and eats some more Whiskers. The tiny dust particles are still on my cat’s tongue. Upon contact with the chicken flavour Whiskers, a chemical reaction occurs. The tiny dust particles and chicken flavour Whiskers create a new chemical compound. The new chemical compound has the ability to reverse the effects of cancer. My cat stops eating, walks out of the kitchen and approaches the stairs. It goes up the stairs and into my room. It jumps up onto the end of my bed and falls asleep. The remaining portion of chicken flavour Whiskers + tiny dust particles continue to ferment on the beige plastic bowl. With each second that passes, the mixture becomes twice as effective at reversing the effects of cancer. By the time my mum comes into the kitchen (half an hour later), the small portion of cat food + dust particles has the power to cure the whole world of cancer six times over. My mum kneels down and picks up the beige bowl. She carries it over to the Sainsbury’s plastic bag that we use as a bin and scrapes the mixture into it with a fork. She runs the bowl under the tap and puts it back on the floor. She walks into the living room and talks to me about something for a while. |